Mobilized Evil

Evil... They are truly evil.  And, yes, I am talking about cell phones again.  This time, I want to rant for a moment of time on the tiny evil spirit that dwells within each phone.  These are more sinister than demonic forces.  For they prey not on your soul but your last nerve, driving you ever closer to foaming-at-the-mouth madness.  Let me give you several examples...

I am walking through the store, desperately trying to get my phone to unlock.  to do so, I must depress a series of buttons in the exact right combination and timeframe, or, like some diabolical video game from the pit of Tartarus, I have to start over.  I make several attempts, but I cannot do it.  The phone, in its electronic silence, mocks me with its faded screen.  Finally, I manage to subdue the hideous, little demon and make my text message.  Then, I wait patiently for the screen to lock, and drop the irritating creature into my pocket.  Seconds later, I bend over to pick up a coin I dropped.  Suddenly, my phone, the same blasted, hell-spawned unit that I could not unlock with both hands, starts dialing outer Mongolia without any trouble whatsoever.  I take it out, and it has unlocked and dialed.  How?!  Evil spirits...

Example two...  I try unsuccessfully on numerous occasions to get the unbelievably simple speaker phone properties to work.  I depress all the unlocking buttons, push this button, switch that button.  You name it, and I try it.  Nothing... Again, the phone taunts me, but remains silent.  So, I walk into a quiet service in my church.  What happens?!  The demonic forces cause a woman's voice to erupt from my pocket asking for commands.  Truly evil!

Finally, I try typing text messages, wanting to simply add a carriage return.  I am certain that I press the correct button, or at least the one that worked the previous time.  Instead, the phone sends my incomplete message.  Then, when I try to send using the same button later, the evil monstrosity glows pleasantly at me and adds fifty carriage returns for the fifty times I have tried to send the message.

I can sense the pervasive evil in the device.  I just cannot figure out how to exorcise the darkness.  Instead, I wake up at night, watching as the device lights up, does some form of ritual update, and wait for the day it takes over the world!  Evil!

Time Travel

I know... I know... nothing new for a while...  Well, wizards lead busy lives you know...  Anyway...

Someone asked me the other day whether or not I felt that time travel was possible.  I mean, what kind of question is that to ask in the middle of a conversation about nothing in particular.  Well, in all honesty, I was waiting for my superhero character on DC Universe Online to heal.  So, I suppose it was as good as anything to ask while we stood there on a Gotham rooftop.  Anyway, so I thought, what an excellent topic to opine upon.  So...

I love the show Doctor Who, and I have since it started.  No, not in the last few years, but all the way back in 50's.  The entire series is awesome!  However, it is founded on a fundamental principal that is quite challenging: time travel.  The idea is easy, of course, but the truth of the idea is beyond complexity.  Set aside the amount of sheer power involved, whether under the laws of physics or magic, and you are left with how to control the passage through the temporal barrier as well as how to contain the rift necessary.  So many dynamic pieces to the equation, but there is a point above all else that must be acknowledged...

Time travel, as we think about it, is simply impossible or, at least, it ends up being a one way journey...  (Of course, time travel is forbidden by God save by Himself and those he chooses.  However, setting that aside...)

Let us create a scenario in which we assume time travel to be possible and feasible.  Our target, the elimination of Adolf Hitler.  We throw the switch or activate the spell, whatever, and here we go...

Now, we are in baby Adolf''s nursery, a gun in our hand.  We have no qualms, so, we end the monster-to-be's existence.  Now, a ripple occurs in time itself.  A wave of change travels forward to our future selves who are just getting ready to jump into the time vortex.  Suddenly, they have no clue as why they are heading to the past because the monster they were trying to kill never existed.  So, they never travel to the past to kill Hitler.  Thus, we vanish and the timeline repairs itself.  Hitler is born, and the whole thing starts over again.  Any moment we could choose to alter would correct itself back to its original pattern.  Absolutely maddening.  So, is time travel possible?  Sure... maybe... But, would it do you any good?  No.

Now, the truth of time travel is that it could only be done in such a manner that your efforts could change nothing, at all.  Otherwise, you run the risk of a temporal ripple that would erase what you are trying to do as described above.  However, remember that the addition of a single molecule or electron could cause an alteration. Of course, it might not.

There you go... clear as mud!

Professor X Could Kick Superman's Can...

When I think of great comic books, only one brand comes to mind.  So, I say, until Wolverine starts running a day-care, make mine Marvel.  Now, you may ask why I choose Marvel over DC.  Of course, you may not care at all, but, either way, allow me to expound.  You see, Marvel simply has more believable superheroes.  It's true.  The Marvel universe has heroes and villains that, while possessing all kinds of powers, have foibles and problems.  They mess up, and they scheme.  They jump back and forth across the line of good and evil, and, more than that, they take out their enemies like you and I would.  Just look at Wolverine.  He is the best at what he does.

Now, let me tell you about the humanly-challenged heroes and villains at DC.  Let's start with Superman.  I know, a measly wizard taking on the Man of Steel?  Well, I do not need Kryptonite.  However, that is where I plan to start...

Ok... you are the most powerful meta-human on the planet.  You can survive in most environments, and you are practically indestructible.  You can see through solid objects and have friends that have all kinds of cool gadgets.  Yet, you have never done a full sweep of the Earth for the one element that can kill you?  C'mon.  If I were the big guy, I would scour the globe, round up all the kryp and destroy it.  Problem solved.  Next, Lex Luthor.  I know the big boy scout can't kill him.  So, send him to phantom zone or lock him up in the fortress of solitude.  Anyway, a totally unbelievable character.

Next, the Caped Crusader, or Batman.  Him, I actually like, but his villains are just totally inane.  He is not a meta-human.  So, why can't seven or eight villains gang up.  Why can't they hire a super-villain like Darkside?  It makes no sense.  Anyone could throw napalm on the bat or trap him in a room without oxygen.  But, they never do!  It makes no sense.

Anyway, just a small rant for the moment... someone find me some kryptonite... now!