Stupid People and Their Carry-Ons

The quickest way to invoke the crabbiness of any wizard is with abject stupidity and ignorance.  Thus, I was sitting in an airport recently, for no more than twenty minutes, when I was reminded, once again, why I keep hoping for an alien invasion that wipes out the whole of humanity.  Let me explain.  You see, I have come to the decision that passengers wanting to travel by airplane should be required to take an IQ test relating directly to their ability to understand baggage size and number.

I witnessed idiots with dufflebags the size of a college man's laundry, women who consider their purse as part of their freaking anatomy rather than a separate entity, and imbeciles that cannot look at a small compartment, already near capacity, and know that their elephantine suitcase cannot be compressed without divine intervention ro the suspense of natural law.

To begin with... Women... your purse is actually a bag that does count as a carry-on and should not be considered as something you can pretend is not there along with the other 60 items you think no one notices you bringing onto the plane.  Stuff the flipping hand bag into another bag and live with it.  In fact, rethink the concept of why you need a purse on a plane to begin with.  No one cares about your make-up, finger nails, lip balm, etc.  So, shrink it and sink and limit yourselves to two actual carry-ons.  Ladies, learn to flipping count!

Young people... you are next... the ridiculous, enormous duffle bags you bring on the plane, regardless of the lacrosse shirt or ripped jeans you are wearing, impresses no one and is simply a sign of the massive drop in common sense affecting most of humanity in these days.  If you want some respect in your younger years, try opening yours eyes and (gasp) your mind to the possiblity that rules exist for the ease of everyone.  Then, you might stop lugging on the impossibly large and obviously assinine bags you think of as a clever alternative.  Let me posit that your duffle bags are not only offensive in general but also reveal that your maturity level is still that of a third grader who lives with the slogan "he who dies with the most stuff wins."  Stop trying to pull one over (it isn't working anyway) and be part of the solution you morons.

Finally, humans in general... unless you are a higly trained and crabby wizard... There are laws of physics and nature under which we all must operate.  As such, when lugging your already over-sized and under-countered bags onto the plane, take note that space is limited.  Moreover, realize that other people also need some of the precious speace and may have breakables in their bags.  So, when you bring your crap on, be gentle when trying to re-size the universe to get your own garbage to fit into the compartments.  Everyone is just as privileged and probably more deserving than you to use the space about them.  So, either check your bag or pack smaller, more applicable luggage.  Seriously, are you that egotistical and ethically blind or just that horribly inbred.

Rant done.